These observations were delivered by Dr. Salman Akhtar at the ACAP conference June 2017. This writer is grateful to him and to ACAP for bringing him in.
Dr. Akhtar distinguished between courage and fearlessness: courage is a response to, and not an absence of, fear. It is the willingness and choice to bear consequences and to act.
All animals fear:
- Something moving fast
- Something with big teeth
- Something with big claws
- the capacity to jump
- heights (my note: except for lemmings, and what good does that do them?)
The above fears are part of our animal nature and have to be available to us. In fact, his description of the goal of psychoanalysis is for the individual to achieve “the greatest amount of pleasure with the greatest safety and the greatest amount of moral ease.”
What is “cowardice” then? He describes the experience of “cowardice” as the fear of being alone and separate from the security of mom and dad. This is a deeper dive into the concept as described by Wiki as “…a trait wherein fear and excessive self-concern override doing or saying what is right, good, and of help to others or oneself in a time of need-it is the opposite of courage. [Acting in a cowardly fashion]…indicates a failure of character in the face of a challenge.”
To me, the difference between the Akhtar description and the Wiki definition is the compassion inherent in the former. The Wiki terms “Excessive self-concern” and “failure of character” grate on the ears of the psyche as being judgmental and harsh. Akhtar describes “cowardice” from the inside, and thus normalizes the universal human experience; who hasn’t been a “coward” from time to time? Wiki speaks from the perspective of an outside observer or an internal judge.
Courage is not just on the physical plane; it can be experienced on the intellectual and emotional planes as well. Dr. Akhtar stated that Freud and other great minds contradict themselves, and that it takes courage to do so. This needs some clarification, however. When a great mind contradicts itself, it is often without bluster and broken promises made with little forethought. After all, a little mind can also contradict itself.
I have a cherished friend who had been emotionally assaulted (treated rudely) in a group by an individual who sounded to me to be grandiose and narcissistic. My friend said to this individual “You don’t have to like me, but you do have to treat me with respect. I grew up believing, as my parents did, in treating others as equals, not in putting oneself above others. And if you continue to disrespect me, I promise you, I will make you feel very, very bad.” This took courage: she said, as Wiki describes above, what was right, true, and of help to others as well as herself. I am happy to report that the individual must have found this feedback to be helpful since my friend was offered a heartfelt apology.